The Kalm Tournament Coverage


Well, this is the inaugural tournament coverage for The Dice Abide, and it's one where I get thoroughly destroyed.  I thought I was a shoe in for worst luck, but that went to Paul, you'll know why by the end. Game 1: Dark Angels vs Ork (Randy, aka Sukigod)


  1. A unit which starts on the table, must move off of the opposite edge (6).
  2. Most expensive squad you own dies (5).
  3. Control the Objective, placed in the center, then after deployment, roll a D3: 1: the Objective doesn't move, 2: the Objective moves 2' to the left, 3: the Objective moves 2' to the right (5).
  4. Kill Points (4).

This was the beginning of a humiliating tournament, thankfully I was drinking.  The whole game I killed 3 orks from shooting., and in return I may have well been tabled.  My best chance for any battle points was to control the objective, which was held on turn 6 by grots rolling 1's for their LD test, after I killed 14 of them.  At the beginning of the game, I didn't think it looked that bleak, but by the end, the only objective I accomplished was having my most expensive squad die.


Game 2: Dark Angels vs Orks (George)


  1. Control center of the board (6).
  2. Kill Points (5).
  3. C&C (5).
  4. Most units in the opponents DZ (4).

George was the event organizer and like Sukigod, also has a beautiful ork army... consisting of upwards of 60 bikes.  I had some early success in killing 4 orks from shooting (bringing my total to 7 for the tournament so far, go missile launchers!), but there was just so much dakka.... so very much dakka.  In the end, we both had a good time, but while I did manage to kill a few of his units, he crushed me 5-3 on KP.  My only points came from controlling my own objective still, bringing me to 10 out of 40 battle points so far.

Game 2: Dark Angels vs Orks (Walter, aka Iron Dog)


  1. Whoever controls the most of 6 objectives (6).
  2. Victory Points (5).
  3. Kill the Traitor HQ (5).
  4. Kill the least expensive enemy unit (4).

I've been playing in the same club as Walter for a year now, and we haven't actually played until traveling across the country, into the wake of a tornado, go figure.  This scenario was really fun and actually very interesting.  At the beginning of the game, we each select an enemy HQ model to have be the "traitor" and switch sides.  Walter gained a terminator chaplain and I grabbed his big mek, to deny him his KFF.  Definitely a slightly less serious round, but still very interesting.  We both did pretty poorly, I managed to kill the Traitor Chaplain and win on Victory points, and Walter killed his back talking Big Mek and scored the objectives, so I lost 10-11, by far this was the least humiliating match, unless you're talking about his amazing paint jobs...

Well, thus ends my humiliation.  I could have taken a better list, but my stubborn refusal wouldn't let me take any vehicles.  Maybe next time I'll be dropping meltabombs and the attack bike for a pair of rhinos for my tactical squads... or I could just bust out the guard!  Meet Comrade Marbovitch:

More photo's from The Kalm can be found on my Flickr, click here!